Everyone I know is having babies, it seems. And naturally, being 30 and due to wed next year, everyone keeps asking me if I'm going to have kids.
Because of course it is their business.
That aside (park it for another day, Betty!), it is of course something that I think about. And it's something that I think about in consideration with my career. I love working, improving things, making a difference, making huge changes, challenging what needs to be challenged. The thought of having a child terrifies me! Will it ruin my career?
One of the people who keeps discussing it with me is a senior manager at work who is amazingly good at what she does. My current workload has my knees trembling, has me working all hours, I'm not sleeping and I feel sick all the time. And I thrive on being busy! This lady has more responsibility than me and has two children under 8. How the heck is she not insane?!?
Then the thought occured to me: maybe her parenting skills actually make her better at what she does? Maybe she really does know what she can and can't do with her working day - and delegates accordingly? Maybe she instinctivly shows leadership - encouragement and support when needed, and firm direction when required.
What if - gasp - being a parent (I'd say a mum but any father reading this would whinge) - actually improves our performance at work, and therefore our career opportunities??
So what do you reckon, is it time to stock up on pampers, or has sleep deprivation got the better of me?
4 comments:
You should probably ask other parents (mums) to get better data to work with ;-) But it is widely known that becoming a parent makes people more organised and better performers. Also it is fun too......Gosh I think I want to be dad now. Everybody who feels like start writing disadvantages of being a parent STOP right now and don’t spoil it to me. Ou wait this is not my blog....sorry………. anyway. I like your blog Betty, keep going.
There's an adage that if you want something done ask a busy person... It seems to me that parents (gender non-specific) give up their own time (TV watching, boozing, sleeping) and become master jugglers, that said I still think it's an awesome commitment that should be VERY well thought through #justsaying'
Being a Mummy of 2 girls (6 & 4) and being a "spritely" 37 yrs old you can do the math of how old I was when I took the decision to have children so not far away in terms of your thought process B.
Prior to having babies I held down a pretty senior job with alot of stress/long hours/responsibility/lots of people to manage and I did a good job - we won company awards, my old team still keep in touch with me and ask my advice constantly so I come to think I wasnt a bad operator and then came the babies......
I am now 5 times the operator I was and I don't think it has anything to do with juggling balls, organisational stuff or sleep deprivation - the main reason I am better now than I ever was is the confidence having a child gives you in a very empowering way. This isn't meant to be "female ennuch" time but if you can go through 9 months of throwing up, the indignity of being poked and prodded (and that was just getting pregnant lol) and actually bringing a small slug like creature into the world in my book you can do anything.
I wasn't unconfident before but now I have belief in myself that I didn't know existed and at the end of the day when that little person (who has managed to survive you learning to be a parent) looks up at you and tells you are the best mummy in the world there is no other feeling like it.
Lxxx
Excellent and very personal blog Betty.
I wrote about the same topic from my perspective recently too. http://ayeright.com/2010/12/start-now/
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